Marathon Motivation

Motivation and inspiration have proven to be two important components in my journey to training for a marathon. Journey has become the best word to describe my marathon training because it has been full of ups and downs, twists and turns and has given me insight into myself that I did not realize before. I have needed both inspiration and motivation to get me through each step on the journey, but sometimes they are the hardest things to find.

Inspiration and motivation can come from many different places. It can come from work, movies, music but for me it has come from those closest to me. Ever since I was much younger I have watched different members of my family run marathons. For many years, I watched my cousins and uncle run The Pikes Peak Marathon and the St. George Marathon. I would hear stories about all of the other races they had run across the country and how accomplished and amazing they felt after finishing each race. I was inspired by their strength and determination to cross the finish line of such a long and demanding race. I made a promise to myself that one day I too would run a marathon. I never imagined myself winning a marathon or even coming close to winning. What I envisioned is crossing the finish line after running the entire 26.2 miles and feeling that sense of pride in myself, that pride that I had seen in the faces of my cousins and uncle when I was younger.

When I was in high school I started running. I had always been very active playing sports and dancing, so running long distances was not a difficult thing to attempt. During the season of my senior year in high school I fractured my Tibia. I started noticing a lot of pain in my lower leg. Doctors told me that I had shin splints from all of my dancing, running and playing sports, but I would be fine as long as I did not push it too hard and rested it for a week. After a week of rest, I started back to all of my activities but was still in pain. It took many doctors visits, X-Rays, and MRIs to find the problem: a fractured tibia. It had started out as a small stress fracture that continued to get worse the more active I was. I had to be on crutches for three months during the winter of my senior year and in an air cast for another month after until it was finally healed. Unable to compete in any of my sports my senior year in high school and missed out on all of my dance and Pom competitions devastated me.




Once I was out of my air cast and could finally get back to all of my activities, I was scared to do anything that might have re-injured my leg. The doctors told me to start back slowly and to rest if I felt any pain at all. I would start running again but would stop because I was afraid. I would give myself any reason why I could to not get up and run. I would use school as an excuse or say that I was too busy. I even began using my grandma who was diagnosed my senior year in high school with liver disease, as an excuse. I would say that I was too depressed, or worried about her to go out and run. Most of all I did not think I was deserving to achieve the things I wanted in life because she was sick.

There would be days that I would go out and try to start a running routine. Finishing a run felt amazing, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Then, I would get a call that my grandma was in the hospital again. After hearing this, that feeling of joy was gone and all that remained was guilt. I thought to myself, “How can I feel so amazing and calm right now if she is so sick and in so much pain? It is not fair.” I was in a dark place in my life and they cycle of sabotaging my training would start all over again.

I continued to fight this battle of ups and downs for years. In college I would find just as many excuses, if not more excuses than before, not to run. I was either too tired, too busy writing papers or studying for tests, or too ill from a night out on the town to go out and run. I would put it off and would tell myself I would go out and run the next day, but I never did. It seems silly that something like running can bring so much satisfaction yet so much pain and frustration to someone, but in my life that is what is has done.

A year and five months ago, my grandma had a liver transplant. Her transplant has been life changing not only for her but for me as well. For two years I watched my grandma get sicker and sicker to the point where some days she could barely get out of bed. She could not eat, walk, get dressed and most days she was too sick to talk. But now, she pushes herself everyday to improve and get her life back. She is still afraid that she will get sick again, and some days she still has that mindset that she will not make it, but she does not let that stop her from doing the things that she loves. She is able to get up, eat, walk, and most of all go shopping (her favorite thing in the entire world). What I have realized from her life, from her ups and downs, is that I can no longer make excuses for why I cannot do things. We can make a million and one excuses everyday for why we cannot do things, but if we find one reason why we can do something, that can be the motivation we need to reach our goals.

Ironically, my grandma has become my motivation to return to marathon training and to cross that finish line like I have envisioned for so long. I still have a long journey ahead of me and I know there will be days where I say, “I can’t today” but I will use that vision of crossing the finish line and of my grandma walking the mall as the inspiration I need to push through a work out.

It is a fresh start. I have let go of my fears and the ways that would sabotage myself in the past and just focus on the present. I am taking my training one day at a time and one mile at a time. I have learned that it is important to keep that final goal and vision in mind, but that it is also important to celebrate the small victories along the way on this journey. Last week, even though I had to work two jobs and had a million other things going on in my life, I made it to the health club everyday to train, even if I was exhausted or sore. Now, I’m up to running 6 miles. That in itself is a small victory. It may only be six miles out of the 26.2 miles of a marathon but it is a step in the right direction.

My next goal is to run a race. I am going to start off with a 5K race and work my way up to the marathon. Acknowledging my competitive nature, I know, I will train even harder for any race I run. Now, alongside my grandma, my mom has become a great motivation, too. She wants to run races too and has been my training partner in this journey. It has been nice to have her there, pushing me harder every time we go out for a run.

What I have come to realize from all of this is that you can find a million reasons why you cannot do something but all you need is one reason why you CAN do it to push yourself to doing what you love. My grandma has become my motivation and my inspiration. I want to not only prove to her that I can run a marathon and cross that finish line, but now, I want to prove to myself that I can do it. I urge anyone who is unsure of something or scared to try to let go of all the reasons why they cannot do something to find a good reason why you can do something and let that be the driving force to do it. I know it sounds cheesy and is definitely easier said than done but if I can do it, anyone can too. I remind myself everyday not to lose faith in myself and not to let my fear of getting hurt define me or stop me from doing something that I have always wanted to do.

I have a long road ahead of me with my training, but by next October I WILL be crossing the finish line of the St. George marathon in under 4 hours.

To be continued....